I've waited a week to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper; I am just now coming out of the euphoria of the experience. This past week I have been happy, contented, loving, concerned, easy to get along with, and at peace with myself. I've made a concerted effort (and it hasn't been that hard) to retain the self I was put in touch with.

Regarding the experience itself, I had no awareness of the passing of time. Throughout I was comfortable personally and I was completely at ease with everyone present. The physical sensation was a combination of warm heaviness and mental clarity. I was totally involved in the conversation and interaction with my friends. All inhibitions and defenses were stripped away, so that I was directly in touch with my feelings and my ability to express them. My thoughts flowed with reason and purpose. I felt a genuine warmth and affection for my friends and a strong desire to express my love and concern for them. I was able to say the words I've saved for so long for fear of prying or of hurting them.

The greatest reward was the positive feedback I received, the respect for who I am and what I have done, and this has given me a far greater feeling of self-worth. Seeing myself through others' eyes has enabled me to see more clearly the good that I have to offer, and it is now easy for me to throw off the cynicism I've been hiding behind. I want to build on a new foundation of trust and openness and to accentuate the positive forces within me. I would hate for this to sound like the gushings of a Polyanna or of a recent convert to the latest cult. I honestly feel that I was given a rare opportunity to look inside myself and to gain a profound understanding of who I really am.

I feel that through self-revelation and the comments of my friends I gained a greater awareness of my strengths as an individual. The session brought out my positive aspects and these overshadowed a negative self-image. It was a profound, delightful experience that I continue to benefit from

The experience has stimulated my interest in self-discovery. I now feel that I have a great deal of potential that is untapped. I have begun reading books of a spiritual and philosophical nature to help develop this potential. I have resumed meditation after a lapse of about six years; it has a calming, centering effect that helps me remember the MDMA state. I hope to continue meditation on a daily basis and to go farther into it than I have in the past. MDMA has helped me to find my center while meditating.

I have taken steps to increase my self-awareness, and I have re-evaluated my needs for love. I think my self- confidence has increased due to the improvement in self-esteem.